People Like This Run Your Country

It's been a while since I regularly ran into politicans, but I've always been amazed at how underwhelming most of them are in smarts, personallity, etc.  I would constantly wonder how these people got into powerful positions when they were so darned mediocre.

Here's a fine, if extreme example.  Representative Hank Johnson (D-GA) is seen here worrying about the population of Guam getting so large that the island might capsize.  Skip to about the 1:00 mark for the fun... there first part is him attempting to clarify the exact size of the island...



Just remember, Rep Johnson and 534 others like him, are making decisions that will affect your life as well as the lives of your children and grandchildren...

Your Tax Dollars at Work

In case you missed it, I know I did, there was an ad for the 2010 Census during yesterday's Superbowl.  Sometime during the 3rd quarter I'm told.

While I know that counting the number of US citizens is very important, and in the Constitution and all, I don't see how important it was to spend $2,500,000 of my money for it. 



This was done by Christopher Guest, who also produced such classics as "Best in Show" and "This is Spinal Tap"... I can tell he's attempting to be funny, but really? 

Headline of the Day

Study: Average Gamer is 35, Fat and Bummed

So, I'm sitting here watching the tube, and surfing the internet because my XBox blew up three weeks ago and is still being repaired. Then, I read this wonderful piece of news. Well, the description certainly fits. In an odd sort of way, I'm glad to read that I'm not too far out of the average age range.

The article claims that gamers are playing as a sort of "Digital Self-medication"... huh, I guess I'll just have to stick with beer 'till the XBox gets back.

New Blog

Since I'm sooo good at keeping this blog up to date, I've gone ahead and started a new blog:

Carpe Cervisia

This was actually Lawrence's idea. It's a blog that's dedicated to homebrewing, and beer in general. I encourage my two readers to check it out... although, there isn't much there right now.

Sitemeter

I was so excited when I added Sitemeter to my blog. It allows me to see who visited my blog, how they linked there, where they were located, and how long they stayed. So cool... except that I've noticed that for the past few weeks the only person who visits my blog is ME... and deerfieldpartners.com... whoever the fuck that is. How depressing...

The Problem of Youth

I can't say I agree with his final conclusion, but I agree w/ pretty much everything else he says.

I've never seen Colin Ferguson's show... whatever it is... but I'm tempted to watch it after this.

Prey Alone

One of the coolest 15 minutes ever. It's like a combination of "The Professional", "Heat", "The Matrix", and some gamer humor all in one... I love it.

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

Pork

The Obama "Stimulus" plan (aka "The Generational Theft Act" or "Porkulus") has turned out to be a sick joke on the American taxpayer. So far it has failed to stimulate anything except growth in goverment agencies. In the end, the only thing it will accomplish will be to drive up interest rates and inflation and add to the crushing debt burden on our grandchildren.

However, we're stuck with it so we may as well have fun with it. So, here's an amusing tidbit from the Recovery.gov website: As part of the "stimulus" the Department of Agriculture purchased $16,784,272 worth of "Canned Pork". Now there's some fun irony.

Quote of the Day

“Now, people when I say that look at me and say, ‘What are you talking about, Joe? You’re telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?’” Biden said. “The answer is yes, that's what I’m telling you.”
- Vice President, Joseph Biden

Flushed Puppy

(LONDON - Associated Press) A British pup had a narrow flush with disaster after his 4-year-old master decided to give him a bath in the toilet. Daniel Blair was quoted as telling Britain's Daily Mirror tabloid that he tried to clean the muddy 1-week-old cocker spaniel because he was muddy, and he flushed him down the drain.

His mother Alison was quoted as saying she thought the dog was dead, but a drainage firm was able to locate the beleaguered animal in a pipe 20 yards away from the house using specialist camera gear.

Pictures of the wet, frightened-looking puppy trapped in a pipe were posted to the firm Dyno-Rod's Web site and broadcast on British television Monday .

The company says the dog is now fine.
----------------------------------------

Is it wrong that the first thing I thought after finishing this article was: "Wow, I need to get a toilet that's that powerful."?

Cap & Trade

Headline of the Day

Canterbury is sufficiently gay, council inspectors rule

"One of Britain's most historic cities, Canterbury, has been told it is sufficiently gay – after a complaint sparked a two-month investigation costing thousands of pounds."

Shanter is Da Man!

The more things change...

"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."
- Cicero - 55 BC

Ah, Modern Technology

My family's first VCR looked just like that, minus the faux wood.

Boy how technology has changed. I've no idea when this ad came out, but by the looks of the guys suit I'd say early 80's perhaps.

Ovaltine

Um, no thanks, I'll pass on the Ovaltine.

Fiat/Chrysler

I saw this tiny car last night. It's a Fiat 500. According to Wikipedia, these little things were made from 1957-1972. It's all of 9'-10" long and powered by an aircooled inline 2-cylinder engine that, in it's most powerul form, puts out a whopping 23hp.

The lil 500 was so popular that Fiat has been making a new version of it since 2007:

It's grown a bit to a hefty 11'-8" and is now powered by a 75hp diesel engine.

You'll soon be able to purchase a Fiat 500 for yourself. As part of the new Chrysler/Fiat merger, Fiat will be exporting these things to the US. The question is, will American's want to buy them?

I was struck by the contrast of the tiny Fiat compared to the Toyota 4Runner that it's parked next to. The 4Runner is a mid-size SUV, and that size and type of vehicle is extremely popular with American car buyers. Compared to Europeans, Americans are larger people, we have larger families, we drive longer distances, and we haul more stuff. While a SUV may not be all that ecofriendly, a tiny car just won't be able to fill the needs of most American families.

Will some people purchase the Fiat? Probably, but I can't see how there will be enough demand for the thing, outside of a small niche segment. It's cute, and fun, but that segment is already filled by the Mini Cooper. Tiny car wise, the Honda Fit, and Toyota Yaris are much more reliable than the Fix It Again Tony.

Also, would you want to be on a highway, surounded by 18-wheelers, in a car that's less than 12' long?

I really don't see how this car will help save Chrysler. Unfortuately, with the government in charge of GM & Chrysler, they're working off the assumption that those two companies failed because they made SUVs instead of tiny putt-putt cars. However, the reality is that American's don't want the tiny cars. They want SUVs, pickups and mini-vans. Building cars that American's won't buy, will not help bring back the US auto industry.

However, now that the federal government is in charge, there will be an incentive to force success on these companies. This will of course come at your expense. Through a combination of carrots and sticks, you'll end up having to get a tiny car at some point. They'll provide tax incentives to purchase high-mileage vechicles, plus massive increases in fuel tax to force prices to $4/gal or more.

So, a Fiat is in your future, whether you like it or not.

Presidential Succession

All two of my readers are well aware that I'm not particularly fond of our current President. So, I was thinking about Presidential succession. What if something happened that required Obama to step down... nothing bad of course, maybe just a scandal or something like that... who comes next in line?


Vice President Joe Biden. Well hell, that guy's flippin' idiot who's far impressed with himself. No, that won't do. OK, so say for whatever reason (again, nothing bad) Joe can't step up to the plate, who's next?


Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi... Crap, she won't do either. I think she's even dumber than Biden, and like all dumb people, she believes she's smarter than everyone else. Next?


Senate President pro tempore, Robert Byrd. Shit-balls. The man's a former Kleagle and Exalted Cyclops in the KKK. Plus he's frickin' 92 years old. If he becomes President we're really screwed. Maybe we'll be lucky with the next person in line.



Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. Whew. Ya know, she doesn't seem all that bad after all the other choices... I actually get a slightly warm and fuzzy feeling from the idea of her being in charge... and that really disturbs me...

Presidential Date Night

This past weekend President Obama actually kept one of his campaign promises; he took the First Lady to a Broadway show.

I think it's cute and nice. I'm sure that the Obamas have been quite busy and it's great that the got some time out together. However, I'm still pissed. Why? Oh, because I got to pick up the tab, and so did you.

You and I paid something around $73,000 so that the Obama's could have a night on the town. This doesn't include the money that the citizens of NYC had to pay for police protection, etc. Not to mention the hours and money lost by people tied up in traffic jambs cause by the numerous, hours long, road closures along the President's motorcade route.

He supposedly saved us money because he, and his entourage, took a mere three Gulfstream jets, instead of the big ole 747. However, please explain to me exactly why he needed to take the Whitehouse Press Corps along? He wasn't making news and I'm pretty sure there are reporters in NYC that could have covered this.

I'm also kind of curious as to how this "green" President can justify the "carbon footprint" of three small jets, as opposed to one large jet. I'm betting he killed dozens of polar bears on this trip. Why not just use Amtrak?

Now, a mere $73k is jack-diddly when compared to the multi-trillion dollar federal budget. However, it's the arrogance, and the sense of entitlement that really pisses me off here. Yes, Presidents use our tax money for campaign purposes, fund raisers, etc. I don't like that either. However, they always spend a few hours on these trips for some legitimate gov't business so, technically, it's ok. Well, not in my opinion, but unfortunately that's how it's done.

However, don't recall any President in my lifetime using taxpayer money for such blatant personal reasons. There's a Presidential Box on permanent reserve at the Kennedy Center and it's like a 10 minute drive from the Whitehouse. He's going to be in NYC sometime for official business. He couldn't have taken Michelle along for a date then?

The President's salary is about $400,000/yr. Michelle was making over $300k in her previous job. So, why am I paying for them to go on a date?

The man's an asshole, plain and simple.

Update: Robert Gibbs duck the question as to the cost and appropriateness of the Obama date night:

My nemesis strikes again.

Damn you, you donut molesting bastard!

Puke-Ray

Headline of the day:

US firm says handheld puke ray is ready to go
Pistol style chunder-gat and torch/vom-sabre models

'A US industrial laser company says it has developed a functional puke-ray system, ideal for use by cops or military personnel wishing to take down their opponents without shooting them. The firm proposes to issue the "non lethal light fighting technology" in two form factors - light-sabre/torch and blaster-pistol.'
-----
My favorite line: '...simply swing the dazzle-beam onto his opponent's face and leave him slipping and stumbling helplessly in a self-generated chunky puddle.'

Uncle Jay Explains the Deficit

Eminem

I'm not a real fan of Sacha Baron Cohen's work. I can appreciate where he's trying to go with his humor but he goes more than a bit over the top, especially with innocent bystanders who end up being the butt of his jokes. Tom Greene had a similar shtick.

However in this case, Eminem gets to be the butt of this joke (literally) and it's more than appropriate for that jackass.

MTV Shows

Yep, I think it's freaking hilarious, but I do at least feel a little guilty about that... well, maybe not all that guilty...

The World of the Future

Behold!

Christ = No Bacon?

I'm not quite sure what this kid is trying to sell. Normally when you see someone with a sign like this they're trying to save your soul and bring you into Christ's glory. However, she's saying that rejecting Christ = bacon... so then it leads me to believe that accepting Christ = no bacon. It seems to me that she's encouraging me to reject Christ. In fact, she's trying to bribe me with bacony goodness in exchange for my eternal damnation. Funny, she doesn't look at all like a Satan worshiper.

If I were a man of faith then there's no way I'd risk my immortal soul for some present day deliciousness. If I were an athiest, I'd happily take this kid's bacon, firm in the believe that I have as much of a soul as do the salty pig parts that I'm consuming. What should I, a bacon loving agnostic, do? Luckily, the decision is easy since bacon is inexpensive and easily obtained.

No sale, you cute little spawn of Satan. You can keep your cursed succulent pork products. Instead I shall head to Sam's Club and purchase a massive amount of glorious bacon with currency instead of my soul (should it even exist). I shall munch on that bacon with an sense of inner peace knowing that, when the heart attack comes, I shall still have a chance of going to heaven (if there is such a thing).

Obamacard

Priceless.

Decision Flowchart for Bacon

Mmmmm, bacon...

Enter Sandman - Kazoo Verzion

Hmmmm, hmm, hmm, hmmmm, hmmmm, hmm, hmm, hmmmm....

Happy Easter