The Best Diet Ever

I'm hungry. About 8' from my office door sits the above cake but I won't eat it... not even a small bite. Why? Because I've discovered the Best Diet Ever.

Unfortunately for my expanding wasteline, the communal food table in my department sits right outside of my door. There is almost always some sort of food on it, and rarely is it something healthy. I have to pass it everytime I step out of my office and it's way too easy to just grab "a" bite.

So, back to the Best Diet Ever: Why won't I eat that cake? Because when it was presented for my coworker's birthday party on Friday it came complete with lit candles. When she blew out said candles I saw a spray of spittle fly out of her mouth and onto the cake. Now, it didn't hit all of the cake, just about a quarter of it on the opposite side of where she was sitting. However, I have no idea if what remains is the spit covered side, or if my coworkers have already eaten that part. So, I won't be taking that risk.

So, I guess I'll name the Best Diet Ever the "Gross-Out Diet". I think I can apply this grossness to just about all of the communal food, from what's on the table, to the bowls of Peanut M&Ms on the secretary's desk. If not spat upon, that food has at least been fondled by at least half of my coworkers... plus they've probably sneezed and/or shed on the food that they haven't fondled... ewww, gross... and so I shall remain hungry, but perhaps a little thinner... well ok, a little less fat...

Cougar Barbie

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Reagan vs Obama

Things certainly have changed haven't they?

Arrogance II

What, you think you can decide to spend your money better than the government? You poor deluded fool. Don't you realize that this is the new era of Hope&Change? Only the Government can spend your money wisely.

The arrogance of it all. How dare this bastard think that he knows better than me how to spend my money?

'The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.'
-Ronald Wilson Reagan

That's the problem with these congressional mandarins. They believe that your money is actually their money. What they allow you to keep is a privilege and a gift. Only in Washington can a tax cut be considered "spending". They feel that it costs them money if they take less of yours.

Again, I want to write more but I'm getting so angry that I can't write rationally right now...

Arrogance

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Don't care?

DON'T CARE?!

That arrogant, self-important, jackass, piece of sh.... grrr... I'm so pissed off by this whole thing I can't even come up with something coherent to write...